Call me Charlotte...

When Mike and I went to Fort Worth, Kathy let me borrow the last three seasons of Sex and the City. Before that, I'd borrowed the first three from Anne. At one point (I don't remember which season,) Charlotte finds out that she only has a 15% chance of ever getting pregnant. When I watched that episode, it hit kinda close to home for me. It made me cry, but I was okay. Today, however, I watched the episode in which she does get pregnant. She also miscarries, and then manages to pull together the strength to go to a birthday party for Miranda's baby. Thankfully, Mike was outside doing yardwork, because I started sobbing. That's exactly what I feel like. When Natalie told me she was pregnant with Alexis, I cried all the way home. After Alexis' first birthday, I cried all the way home. When Jessie told me she was pregnant, I think I managed a smile, and then cried for the next solid hour, and for a week off and on after that, every time it popped into my head. I feel terrible that I can't show her that I'm happy for her, because I am...but I'm in so much pain. I just wish I could relax about it and accept it.