He may see this, and if he does, that's okay. He knows it anyway.

I yearn for him. I ache to be near him. To talk to him. To share with him. I treasure everything he's shared with me and I smile every time I think of the good conversations and the fun (if few) times we've had together. I honestly have never loved anyone so much.

But to him, I am a friend.

And while I love being his friend, I desperately want to be so much more.

I realized something today, though...and it hurts. I realized that until I feel this way for a man who also feels this way about me...it isn't worth it. Unrequited love just sucks, and adds heartbreak to my already deeply wounded heart.

I'm willing to wait for him, if I see any sign at all that he might come for me, but I hate watching him rebound with a girl who I know will never understand him like I do, will never know so intimately what his journey has been, will never see the man I see.

Maybe I've been a fool to fall in love with him. Maybe this heartache was meant to teach me something...though I don't know what. Maybe he's supposed to date her and realize that it isn't right and that the right girl has been by his side for over a year. I don't know.

I'm willing to wait, but I'm an impatient person and I hate waiting. And who knows...maybe this was just meant to be a message to me saying that there ARE good men out there and that there's hope...it's just hard to see that message without seeing "but they're not interested in you" in it, too.

Anyway...I just had to whine for a minute, so...there it is.